From Humble Beginnings: Shaped by Portuguese Values

We left our home for brighter days,
In a new country, we found our ways.
For you, our children, we dared to dream,
A future bright, where hopes redeem.
Through challenges, we grew so strong,
In this new place, we now belong.
For better lives, and love profound,
Our journey’s gift, forever found.

The story of my “Once Upon A Time,” has a humble beginning and one that can not be told without me proudly sharing my Portuguese roots. It was the upbringing that helped shape who I am today as a person. Here is our story.

After immigrating to Canada in the 70s, my parents fell in love and got married in Canada. They came here with only the clothes in their suitcases but with dreams of a prosperous life. It was only fitting that they start a family of their own.

A few years later on a spring day, a baby girl weighing in at 7lbs and 8 oz was born. The proud immigrant parents named her, Melanie. A name suggested by their eldest niece who saw the name in a baby book. This was the very start of what would be our family journey.

A Humble Beginning

Growing up as a child of Portuguese immigrants who came with nothing, I saw first hand how hard they had to work to make sure the necessities were met. We lived in a flat and we were always so blessed that they were with Portuguese families which made it easier for my parents. At the first home we lived in, it was only a one-bedroom flat so I slept in my parent’s room in my crib until the age of seven as that is when my sister was born. Of course, she needed the crib and I was actually excited to be upgraded to the living room where I had my own sofa bed. This to me was amazing as a sofa bed was much bigger than a crib.

A few years later, we got to move to the house next door to another flat which was great as it had two bedrooms. I got another upgrade that I felt so grateful for and even though I had to share it with my sister. I knew in my heart that I was lucky to have a roof over my head. I learned to be grateful and thankful from my parents. A value that I truly appreciate until this day.

My mom decided to stay home to help raise my sister and I while my dad kept working really hard for our family. When we were a bit older, my mom went back into the workforce to contribute to the family earnings as their dream was to have a house of their own. With patience, hard work and dedication, they realized their dreams of owning a home. We ended up moving outside of the city of Toronto due to the pricing of homes being unaffordable. But it didn’t matter as they finally did it! And me at the age of 15, finally got my own room! It felt like I won the lottery!

However, the hard work did not slow down as my dad worked even harder and was determined to make sure we could afford home living. I remember him working double shifts and even on weekends. My mom would work evenings part-time. Both working tirelessly to ensure that we had what we needed. I could see they were getting tired, especially my dad. I remember turning to him and asking him why he was working so hard all the time. He said, “I work hard to give my family (you and your sister) all the opportunities to do better for yourselves when you are older.”

This was something that I don’t think I would have understood if I didn’t have the upbringing that I did. Family is everything and we work hard to ensure the next generation does better with humbleness.

The Influence of Portuguese Values

Growing up, many would see that my upbringing was “Old Fashion” or “Strict.” My parents established a strong sense of authority and respect at home early on. We knew that this was mom and dad and what they say goes. I didn’t test them or push the boundaries they established as I knew it was important to show them respect. It was a value that they carried with them from their home country and it was a value that was instilled in me. My parents being strict felt like torture but as I got older, we learned that by communicating honestly, we can loosen the strings that they were holding onto tightly. Only now is when I realized that those tight strings were their fear and not about trusting me. They came from a small village in the Azores and here they are in a different country that seemed so much bigger. The fear of anything happening to me was crippling them to hold on even tighter. This is why I am incredibly proud of my parents for finding that balance and adapting to the culture in their new country but still holding onto those important values from back home. Respect and self-worth were values that I gained from this upbringing.

Being proud of our roots is another value that my parents wanted to pass down to us. This is why my parents only spoke Portuguese with me. They felt it was important to continue teaching the language, traditions and history with us. This is why when I started Kindergarten, I did not know English. But luckily at that time in Toronto, most of the kids who just started school did not know English either. School didn’t come easy to me as I would have to stay late to get extra help as I didn’t have anyone at home to help me understand the work. My parents felt bad as they didn’t have the language skills to help teach me at home. However, this made me a stronger learner as I had to self-teach. It made me more responsible and being able to speak fluent in Portuguese, allowed me to gain so many experiences that I would never have had if I did not know a second language. I remember in Grade 8; we had an assembly with awards. I won the “Effort & Achievement Award” which recognizes my efforts in all my classes. I thought this was amazing but that did not make my parents cry. What did make them cry which is a reflection of their values is when I was then awarded the “International Language Award – Portuguese.” That was what meant the most to them and the proudest moment to them as Portuguese parents.

My parents taught me the importance of loyalty, honesty, respect and the gift of the Portuguese language—values that have become the cornerstones of my character.

Portuguese Ethics and Their Importance

The ethics imparted by my Portuguese upbringing emphasized community, integrity, and the strength found in togetherness. From a young age, I learned the value of helping others, being truthful, and holding myself to high moral standards. These principles guided me through life’s challenges and successes, shaping me into a person who values kindness, honesty, and respect above all.

The Portuguese philosophy of “saudade”—a profound sense of longing and nostalgia—also plays a significant role in understanding the importance of cherishing moments and valuing relationships. It is this blend of ethics and cultural depth that has given me a unique perspective on life, one that appreciates both the present and the legacy of those who came before me. The sacrifices, the learning, the adapting and hard work truly paid off. Truly blessed that I have the parents that I do and I will forever cherish the values that were taught.

Reflecting on my humble beginnings, I am proud of the person I have become, thanks to the strong ethical foundation laid by my Portuguese upbringing. It is a heritage that continues to influence my decisions, my interactions, and my outlook on life.

Until next time…Happy Parenting!

~ Momma Braga